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Back to Blog. This is the fourth article in our seven part Causes of Divorce series. Links to the other articles are at the bottom of the. If you take a look around at the couples you know, it might seem like cheating is rampant. Unfortunately, the statistics support this observation. If so, then you probably know that emotional infidelity can be every bit as painful as sexual infidelity.
However, here are some hints that you may want to look for as you process your feelings and decide whether your current relationship is here to stay. There is no innocent reason why a married person would instantly stash their phone as soon as their spouse enters the room.
Does the emotional bond you feel toward them rise above the level of platonic friendship after all? If not, then what exactly do you feel you have to hide from your spouse? However, if this new friend has become the main topic of conversation, what does that remind you of? Coupled with other s of emotional cheating, a change in work schedule might occur because you or your partner wants to make more time for that questionable friend.
This is particularly dicey, however, because there are so many other, innocent reasons why you or your partner would change their schedule. As a result, you really have to examine the surrounding circumstances. It also exposes a dearth of intimacy with your spouse, which is the real relationship red flag. Maybe this is even the real distinction between friendship and emotional infidelity -- a friend is just a friend until they begin to replace your spouse. For example, some people might consider an emotional affair to be the greatest betrayal possible, while others might consider a physical affair to be much more serious.
That being said, there is some data regarding how people do react when affairs come to light. According to a survey conducted by Health Testing Centers, when men admitted to cheating, they ended the relationship themselves Assuming that most of the survey participants were in heterosexual relationships, these s suggest that women are more likely than men to end a relationship when infidelity comes to light.
There really is a very fine line between an innocent friendship and a threat to your marriage. This can take many forms -- the potential cheater might be spending more time with their supposed friend than with their spouse, or they might be talking about more intimate topics with their friend than with their spouse. Whatever the exact change is, you know that a friendship has crossed the line when it has become more, better, or deeper than the marriage.
There is no single cause of all emotional affairs, but there has been plenty of research that might shed some light on this question. Most of the time, there is underlying dissatisfaction that prompts married people to seek emotional support outside of their partnership. That is, ironically protect themselves from anxiety-provoking aspects of love.
So, if you want to prevent an emotional affair in your relationship, the best thing you can do is be vulnerable with your spouse, and maybe even give up a little bit of control. We also know that affairs in general do not make a very good basis for a long-lasting marriage. Are they truly connected and in love, or are they each filling a void? All of the same factors that determine whether any two people with chemistry fall in love apply here as well.
Do they have shared interests? Are their values and lifestyles compatible? Do they want to fall in love?
There is one major additional factor here, though: is it more important to the married participant to work things out with their spouse? New relationship energy can be exciting, but the only way to tell if a relationship can stand the test of time is to wait and see. How do we know this is true? In the next article of this series, we discuss when to walk away from a sexless marriage. Susceptibility to infidelity in the first year of marriage. Journal of Research in Personality, 31, We do not provide legal advice through the Service.
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Search for Anything:. Back to Blog Emotional Affairs and Texting. October 6, By Moriel Berger. You or your partner has been hiding their phone. Chances are, you were approximately that chatty about your spouse when the two of you first met. You or your spouse has changed their work schedule. You believe that this new friend understands you better than your spouse.
What should you do if you find out that your partner is having an emotional affair over texting? FAQ Why do emotional affairs happen? How long do emotional affairs last? Do emotional affairs turn physical?An emotional affair with a married man
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What’s the Deal with Emotional Affairs?