Evil overlord test

Added: Liesl Berkowitz - Date: 06.11.2021 07:58 - Views: 49279 - Clicks: 4848

We were kicking around cliches that appeared on "Deep Space 9" at the time, and I started to compile a list of classic blunders they were making. The list came to about 20 or Evil overlord test items. InI decided to try to make it into a Top List. I attached a copyright notice, some friends of mine posted it to a few newsgroups, and the contributions quickly poured in.

In I revised the list entries to their current form, the Web went up, more contributions were solicited, the list expanded beyond and I had to open up a dungeon. I continued to contribute items; my total is around 40 or so. So while I am the originator, editor, and principal contributor, I certainly did not write the majority of the items on the list -- as may be seen by the sheer of individuals who are listed as contributors.

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Aroundas the final contributions were coming in, a couple contributors mentioned that this was similar to a list of things not to do if you capture James Bond that had appeared on a sci-fi newsgroup. I'd never heard of or seen this list, so I assumed it was parallel development or perhaps something I had inspired.

On November 12,I exchanged some s with Jack Butler who has a list on his website. Sayeth Mr. Williams, Merideth Knepper, and Alexi Vandenburg. I was also one of its contributors. When I originally Evil overlord test this list to the Internet inI did so without any awareness of Mr. Anspach, the Star Trek mailing list on which his version of the list appeared, or later his website. Comparing the two, some items appear on one list but not the other. Other items appear identical to those on this list; since many are the result of my writing or editing, I believe they were taken from this list and posted to that list without permission.

But other items on that list appear identical to contributions I received before I edited them. Those items may have been taken from that list and submitted here under false pretenses, or they may have innocently been submitted to both lists by their originators. It appears that as a result of this "cross-contamination", the two lists have arrived Evil overlord test a point where there are variations on each other and it is probably impossible to untangle them. I would still like to talk with Alesia Chamness. If you know her, please ask her to me. I believe Jack Butler when he says the list on his website is the current form of the James Bond Villain list, and I thank him for helping to clarify matters.

The copyright statement attached to my list applies only to this list, in the form it appears. Due to the complexity of this task, Peter regrets that he is currently unable to give the list the attention it deserves. The list is therefore going on a temporary hiatus.

This is a temporary condition.

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As soon as he is able to respond in a timely manner -- or until he becomes unquestioned lord and master of all things, whichever comes first -- the list will not be updated and no new suggestions will be considered. He would sincerely apologize for this inconvenience, were it in character for an Evil Overlord to do so. Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice.

It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

Shooting is not too good for my enemies. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, Evil overlord test you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?

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No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it.

I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

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All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know.

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I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the Evil overlord test rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly. I will hire a talented fashion deer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes.

All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

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I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at Evil overlord test I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber. I will never build only one of anything important.

All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Evil overlord test X. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

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If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite among his army.

I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

Evil overlord test

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How much of an evil overlord are you?