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Jump to. You might be thinking about having sex for the first time and are not sure where to start. Or maybe you want more information on how to make it pleasurable and safe? During vaginal sex also known as penetrative vaginal sex, sexual intercourse and just sex the penis goes into the vagina. If you watch movies or look at pornography you may have a very unrealistic idea of what sex is like. There is no one right way of having vaginal sex. It can be a very gentle, intimate experience or a passionate, adventurous one and many other things in between. You can try having sex however First time you have sex and your partner would like to.
Sometimes called heavy petting, foreplay helps to get both people sexually aroused or turned on and ready for vaginal sex. It can involve kissing, stroking, caressing, rubbing, touching or oral sex. Foreplay should be enjoyable for both partners. Some people choose to stick to foreplay and not have penetrative sex.
If you are both ready to have vaginal sex, the more aroused you both are, the easier it will be for the penis to enter the vagina. We spent ages on foreplay, kissing, fingering and lots of oral as it was both of our first times. When we did decide to have sex, we used a condom and lots of lube and he was very gentle, kept asking me if he was hurting me and how I felt. It did hurt a bit, but not as much as I was expecting. Once you are both aroused and ready to have sex you can put on an external male condom. This can be done by either of you.
You can only put a condom on an erect penis, and you should do this before the penis touches or enters the vagina. If you are using an internal female condom it can be put in up to eight hours before sex. When you are ready, one of you can use your hand to gently guide the penis into the vagina. Once the penis is inside, you can move your bodies so that the penis pushes into the vagina and then pulls partly out again.
Do what comes naturally and feels good - take it slowly, be gentle and make sure you are both comfortable. You or your partner can pause or stop at any time if you are not comfortable with what you are doing. When you are very aroused, tension builds up in your body, the sexual pressure is then released in a sudden pleasurable rush called an orgasm, coming or climaxing.
For women the most sensitive part of their body is the clitoris, a small bump just above the opening to the vagina. It is full of nerve endings and very sensitive to touch. Many women need their clitoris to be stimulated to have an orgasm. You can try different positions for vaginal sex that allow you to move your bodies in a way that rubs the clitoris. Some people choose for them or their partner to touch the clitoris during penetrative sex to stimulate it.
For most men the action involved in thrusting the penis in the vagina stimulates the nerve endings in the penis and causes them to orgasm. It takes time to get to know what works for you and for your partner. Both men and women can enjoy vaginal sex even if it does not make them climax. Different people enjoy different things and there are many possible options. If you are having sex for the first time, choose a position you both feel comfortable with. You may also want First time you have sex experiment with sex toys or having anal sex or oral sex.
If you do move from anal sex to vaginal sex you should put on a new condom to make sure you do not infect the vagina with bacteria. After a while you might find certain movements, positions and ways of touching that lead to one or both of you having an orgasm. It takes time to get to know what works for you sexually — and for your partner — and sex can be enjoyable whether you climax or not. If you are using an external male condomyou should hold on to the condom when the penis is withdrawn to make sure it does not come off.
Do not wait too long to withdraw, the penis should still be erect so that there is no risk of the condom slipping off or semen leaking out. Both are normal. The hymen is a thin piece of skin partially covering the entrance to the vagina. It could be your first time, you might have your period, you could be in the bath or standing up — however you do it, if you have unprotected sex you can get pregnant.
Even if someone has not had penetrative sex they may have had oral sex or may have contracted an STI through skin to skin contact. Going for First time you have sex wee or trying to clean inside your vagina will not remove all the semen and will not stop you getting pregnant. This is because some semen cum can leak into the vagina before ejaculation.
It can take time to get used to how sex feels. Some women find it a little uncomfortable or painful at first, but the pain should not be intense. If you are finding painful you should stop. Taking things slowly, making sure you are both fully aroused and using a water-based lubricant can help make penetration more comfortable and pleasurable. If you continue to have pain during sex it may be a that you have an illness or infection so it is worth visiting a health clinic to get checked out. Having vaginal sex without using a condom, puts you and your partner at risk of an unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections STIs including HIV.
While there are many different types of contraception to prevent pregnancy only condoms will also protect you and your partner from sexually transmitted infections STIs and HIV. If one of you has HIV, is on medication and has an undetectable viral load it will be impossible to pass on HIV during sex.
The responsibility for protecting against pregnancy and STIs should be shared between you both. Being safe should help you both feel more relaxed and make sex more enjoyable. You can also be tested for other STIs. This will help keep you and any partner you have healthy. Deciding whether to have sex is a very personal thing. Talk to your partner and keep communicating to make sure you have their consent.
If you and your partner are keen and relaxed, sex can be a very pleasurable experience for you both. The main things to consider are whether it feels right, and whether you and your partner are both sure. You may also find it helpful to read some of the personal stories people have shared with us about sex including first time sex. Can you support us and protect our future? Photos are used for illustrative purposes. They do not imply any health status or behaviour on the part of the people in the photo. Please enable it in your browser settings.
Google Tag Manager. When to get tested? What happens after? Foreplay is important. It gets you both sexually aroused and ready so that vaginal sex is more enjoyable for both partners. Having sex without a condom puts you and your partner at risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections STIs including HIV.
Condoms are the best form of protection against unplanned pregnancy and STIs. For condoms to work effectively they need to be in place before the penis touches or enters the vagina. Discussing safer sex is an important part of having sex. Every contribution helps, no matter how small. Last full review:. Next full review:. NHS Choices 'Does a woman always bleed when she has sex for the first time? Planned Parenthood 'All about sex'. Brook 'Vaginal sex'. Last updated: 01 May Last full review: 31 March Next full review: 31 MarchFirst time you have sex
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