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Narcissistic women are not always obvious. They can appear fragile, charming, insecure, and even selfless. So you have to look past their disguise. Here are 7 little-known traits of a covert female narcissist.
Narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder — NPD is a type of personality characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy American Psychiatric Association, Most people who exhibit narcissistic traits would not meet a clinical definition of a narcissistic personality disorder. Still, a woman with narcissistic tendencies can be just as devious as someone with an NPD diagnosis. The vulnerable covert subtype is a less studied type of narcissism that presents with hypersensitivity, defensiveness, and even shyness.
While some women are grandiose narcissists, it is rare. The majority of female narcissists are the vulnerable covert type. For that reason, when people talk about narcissism, they usually reference men. However, female narcissists do exist. They may display the same behaviors and attitudes as their male counterparts, or they may present a more subtle, discreet, covert persona.
This is because every child goes through the socialization process that instills gender roles in them. For example, girls are socialized to suppress their aggressive or dominating impulses, while boys are taught to hide their vulnerability and project hypermasculinity. They cloak it in vulnerability, selflessness, or victimhood. Research see the References section confirms that there are differences between narcissistic men and women, such as:. She sees herself as a superior being and expects special treatment.
But at the same time, she has an extremely fragile ego that needs constant bolstering. And their negative attitudes about other people and life in general make them insufferable to be around. You know Signs of a narcissist woman they say: misery loves company.
She feels that asking for something is beneath her. So how do you get something without asking for it? Instead of telling people how she feels, she makes them feel what Signs of a narcissist woman feels. If they fail to do so, shame and guilt-tripping will follow. So as adults, these children find it hard to set boundaries or prioritize themselves in a relationship.
They may also develop narcissistic features themselves due to the contagious nature of narcissism. She is the kind of person who always has something critical to say about anyone she meets. But she will do so behind their backs, trying not to expose herself as a gossip. As critical as she is of other people, it is nothing compared to how critical she is about the people who are closest to her. For example, a narcissistic mother is most critical of her own children.
This is systematic psychological destructionand it happens far too often. One of the most telling narcissistic traits is the inability or unwillingness to admit a mistake or some wrongdoing. A covert female narcissist, like any true narcissist, will also deny that anything is her fault. But instead of going on the offensive, she will play the victim or the martyr and attempt to manipulate you into feeling guilty. When you confront her, she will respond with indignation, flat-out denying the affair. For example, she might say:. What did you expect? You hardly pay any attention to me.
All you care about is insert something you care about. Her infidelity becomes secondary to what you did to make her cheat on you.
A covert female narcissist will operate on a mixture of truths, half-truths, and outright lies fused together to fit her agenda. And if you actually catch her in a lie, be prepared for an avalanche of gaslighting meant to completely disorient you and make you question your sanity.
The scary thing is, she seems to believe her own lies, even in the face of facts that clearly contradict them. Which image a covert female narcissist chooses to project depends on her cultural values and desires. If she is from a culture that values traditional female gender roles, she may want to project an image of a perfect wife and mother.
Rather, her care is the byproduct of her need to be perceived in a positive light by others.
Social media is a perfect tool for that. Another role a covert female narcissist is likely to take on is the philanthropist. She might volunteer or take on a noble cause, performing multiple and very public! There is even a term for this: the communal narcissist.
She gets off on letting people know how giving and caring she is.
I feel so bad for all the homeless people! What is the city doing about this? After all, true charity is anonymous. There is a certain range of basic emotions narcissists are still capable of. But in private, intimate relationships they are usually cold, distanced, and superficial.
There is something restricting about her. So you feel that your relationship is one-sided, shallow, and emotionally unfulfilling. The same can be said if you have a covert narcissistic mother or another female relative. But if you dare to tarnish that image, then you will see the true face of the narcissist — vindictive, cruel, and unforgiving. Grijalva, E. Gender differences in narcissism: A meta-analytic review.
Psychological Bulletin2 : DOI: Hoertel, N. Psychiatry Research, — Kalemi, G. Frontiers in Psychiatry, Mitra, P. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Stinson, F. Prevalence, correlates, disability, and comorbidity of DSM-IV narcissistic personality disorder: from the wave 2 national epidemiologic survey on alcohol and related conditions. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry69 7— Streep, P. Psychology Today. Each month I send my subscribers the roundup of the latest posts from the blog.
That's it! No spam. If you'd like to stay in touch, click below to up. What is narcissism? The two main types of narcissism: what are they? What is the difference between a male and a female narcissist? What Is Narcissism? According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSMto be diagnosed with NPD a person must exhibit five or more of the following symptoms: A grandiose sense of self-importance Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love A belief that one is special and can only be understood by other exceptional people A need for excessive admiration A sense of entitlement to special treatment Exploitation of others A lack of empathy Envy of others or the belief that one is the object of envy Arrogance.
Overt Vs. Covert Narcissism There are two basic subtypes of narcissism: grandiose narcissism and vulnerable narcissism. Male Vs. Female Narcissist How are male narcissists different from females? For starters, there are way more narcissistic men than women.
Research see the References section Signs of a narcissist woman that there are differences between narcissistic men and women, such as: Narcissistic men tend to be the grandiose type, Signs of a narcissist woman women are more likely to exhibit covert or vulnerable narcissism Female narcissists are more concerned with physical attractiveness than males, although both genders display vanity and exhibitionism Narcissistic men are more likely than women to have a sense of entitlement, exploit others for self-interest, and desire power Narcissistic women are more likely to use covert, relational aggression that causes psychological or social harm rather than direct aggression RELATED: 7 s of a Narcissistic Parent With a Martyr Complex.
Comments Most women are real narcissists these days unfortunately, and very dangerous as well. Footer No information on this website is intended to serve as professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of a professional with any questions you may have regarding your condition.
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s You Might Be Dealing with A Female Narcissist